THINGS YOU MUST UNDERSTAND ABOUT MARRIAGE AND HOW IT WORKS

Firstly how do you access the term marriage?

Marriage life is very different from your single life, marriage is another world on its own, and that features only you and your partner for ever, couples have to start seeing their spouses as their physical conscience, they’re certain characters about you, that you have to drop when you get married, marriage is not a bed of roses every couple can testify to that, but in every circumstance the foundation usually determines the rage. The foundation you lay down from the beginning of your marriage when you got back from your honeymoon determines the success your marriage will achieve. Always remember that as you lay your bed so you will lie on it, marriage starts after the honeymoon is over and to some couples it starts that very night during the honeymoon, that’s when some couples will start asking themselves questions. Is this the man I fell in love with, is she the lady I married, the person I have been dating for all this years, here is one secret about life, you can never know the worse part of a person you are dating, except you get to live with them day after day, which you will not even fine out because they will always protect and hide that negative character that they know you might not like if you get to see it, all this characters are the things that you will be discovering, then you will start asking yourself what went wrong, where did you go wrong? That’s where couples have to remember the oath, for better for worse. You must understand that it is not your fault that he/she is the way they are, that’s the challenge marriage entails. You have seen the better side of life with that person that’s why you feel in love with him/her, now ask yourself this question, now put this two things together, if you were told to compare between the good times and the bad times you have had with that person which do you think is more than the other, for if people were to know other’s worse just like they are knowing their better side, marriage won’t be existing. God has seen from the beginning that it is good you make those pledges before going into that commitment, that the person is good today does not guarantee that he/she will be the same tomorrow, and likewise in finances. I mentioned before in my other article title: what to do with an infidelity partner, that marriage is a life contract, which even death can not separate. Anything that God does not approve is not able to last. Always remember that marriage was ordained by God almighty.

HOW TO LAY A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

These steps will help you after getting married, but read my article on things you must do before getting married, to be able to lay foundations before building the marriage.

1. Seek help early
Many couples will wait for as long as possible, hoping things will change, it is a problem that will not go until you do something, and the worse part is the longer it stays the worse it gets.

2. Caution yourself
Couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest, you can tell your partner about what they did that you didn’t like, in a peaceful way, create an atmosphere just for that, a perfect condition, the aim is to deliver what’s bothering you.
3. Be careful how you "start up" a conversation. Arguments.
Some spouse sometimes escalates the conflict from the get-go by making a dramatic, or angry or upsetting remark in a confrontational tone.
4. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. If a woman says, "Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready," a husband who replies "My plans are set, and I'm not changing them," is a guy in a shaky marriage.
A husband's ability to be persuaded by his wife is so critical because, research shows, women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and a true partnership only occurs when a husband is able to do so as well.
5. Happy couples had high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
6. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: gossiping about other people together (very useful); changing the topic to something completely unrelated; throwing in some humor; stroking your partner with a caring remark ("I understand that this is hard for you"); making it clear you're on common ground ("This is our problem"); backing down (in marriage, as in the martial art Aikido, you have to yield to win; and, in general, offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way ("I really appreciate and want to thank you for...")
7. Focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, couples make five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship ("We laugh a lot" as opposed to "We never have fun") than negative ones. A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.
8. Always show appreciation for every little thing your spouse does, and says, it brings a sense of respect and honey on your part.

Marriage is a life time commitment, to many it is their worse nightmare, but to some it is the most wonderful experience that they never want to see it end. How do you want yours to be, the foundation you lay will decide for you.